James spiralled into depression. “I was working, but not coping. I lost my ability to make a decision, I simply didn’t have the energy. I couldn’t concentrate on anything, not even a conversation. I’d spend hours and hours in my truck, driving round, terrified. I was an emotional wreck and avoided everybody and everything, even my family. You get to the point where you simply can’t function. I became a person I didn’t know. I basically had no desire to carry on.”
James phoned the Samaritan help-line but after talking for 45 minutes, he felt nothing had changed. A year later he went to a doctor who prescribed antidepressants. Again, it didn’t help. That’s when James decided to commit suicide. He drove out onto the moors, turned off the ignition and sat wrestling with the idea of killing himself or not to.
Eventually James chose to live. He drove to the nearest police station and told them he had just tried to commit suicide and that he needed help. The police listened to James and he was taken to the nearest emergency where he was assessed and set up with a course of intensive counselling.
James credits talking with saving his life. However, he admits that talking to someone who doesn’t understand the specific issues of farmers doesn’t help. If he could have spoken to someone who knew things about potato fields, then that appreciation and knowledge of what he was going through would have been like a breath of fresh air.
I’m glad James is alive! While depression has elements common to everyone, the particulars of one’s life make depression literally ‘yours’. I wish James continued well-being and I’m certain his desire to help other farmers will be successful.
Terezia Farkas. International Bestselling Author, Huffington Post/ CNN contributor, columnist of Depression Help. Focus is mental health. Her bestseller Heart of Love Evolution – Surviving Depression is available on Amazon. Website: www.tereziafarkas.com Follow on Twitter.
Original Article appeared in Farmers Weekly o4/July/2014 (Dealing with Depression: Farmer Speaks Out) http://www.fwi.co.uk/articles/04/07/2014/145362/dealing-with-depression-farmer-speaks-out.htm
Terezia Farkas. International Bestselling Author. Columnist. Writes about dealing with depression.
A recent article in U.K. Farmers Weekly by Tim Relf showcases the struggle farmers have with depression. The stigma of depression and not talking about it is literally killing farmers. Tim Relf talked to one farmer with a heartfelt story of choosing between suicide and life.
Bitcon College Farm manager James Drury told his story of choosing between suicide and life after he became lost in depression. James’ experience with depression started when the farm he was managing in Scotland was sold. He had loved the job and while he found new employment at another farm, the lose of something so dear to him made him feel ‘gutted’.