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It’s 3 a.m. and I’m lying in my bed, thoughts racing with ideas that seem to go nowhere. My curtains are drawn shut so that there’s no interference from the outside world. My door is closed. I don’t care about anything that’s beyond the threshold because today my world is only as big as my room. In fact, it might actually only be the size of my bed.
My bed. My fortress, my safe zone, my confidant when no one else is there to cry on. I know it’s just an inanimate object but the warmth oozing back from the bed comforts me as if I am being hugged. I know it’s just my body warmth heating up the mattress but none of that resonates with me now. I’m crying my heart out, sobbing into the bed because my pillow is already drenched from my tears. Why am I so despondent? Is there a cause, a reason that I can clearly state to others? Or is it just a jumble, a mess, a pile on of emotions and hurts too deep to verbalize, never mind explain to someone who has never experienced what I am feeling right now. My mind rationalizes my pain, giving false comfort from ideas that creep out of the darkness that is both inside and around me. I am alone. No one cares about me. I feel so lonely, so sad that my heart feels like it is breaking apart. I look up and of course there’s no one coming to comfort me. No one hears me crying or the questions I pose to the darkness. I am alone and I feel the immensity of what I believe to be me. My soul looks upon my life and says it’s not as bad as I imagine it to be but my mind tells me it is even worse. I contemplate what will be, what has passed, and what remains to be done once I actually get out of bed. Things that are transparently clear to me will become unfocused by noon and I will once again question living. So I take a breath and hope for the best and worst of what I imagine, for anything will feel better than what I am enduring now in this moment. Terezia Farkas. International Bestselling Author, Huffington Post/ CNN contributor, columnist of Depression Help. Focus is mental health. Her bestseller Heart of Love Evolution – Surviving Depression is available on Amazon. Website: www.tereziafarkas.com Follow on Twitter. Terezia Farkas. International Bestselling Author. Columnist. Writes about dealing with depression. Douglas Cressman is a make-up artist. That means he works in an industry where skin deep beauty often defines a person. But not everyone in the industry adheres to that stereotypic attitude. Douglas Cressman and many others see the inherent beauty of every person as a quality to be embraced and celebrated. I am proud to call Douglas one of my friends. Douglas Cressman and Inner Beauty  #throwbackthursday. This was one of the best moments to date of my hair and makeup career. We were helping family's and individuals who were on the streets or in shelters and have never had a professional portrait of themselves. This was not about a designers clothing or about a makeup line. This girl and her family were living in a shelter.
It was sad, this family could not afford a curling iron and the big smile on this girls face when I showed her what she looked like after I curled her hair. She had never had her hair curled before. This event brought tears to my eyes to see so many people in need and how they were able to get all dolled up free for their very own portraits. It is moments like this I will never forget and will hold this memory close. We all walk around wanting a new this or a new that and never happy. This girls face lit up with something as ordinary as a curling iron and curled hair. Take time to enjoy the little things in life. Thank you so much to Gary S Evans for capturing a memory I will never forget. Douglas Cressman - Makeup Artist at SMN Magazine, Freelance Makeup Artist at Hair and Makeup by Douglas Cressman For more information on Douglas or to contact him: https://www.facebook.com/DouglasMUA Terezia Farkas. International Bestselling Author, Huffington Post/ CNN contributor, columnist of Depression Help. Focus is mental health. Her bestseller Heart of Love Evolution – Surviving Depression is available on Amazon. Website: www.tereziafarkas.com Follow on Twitter.  Terezia Farkas. International Bestselling Author. Columnist. Writes about dealing with depression.
Phyllis Valois is a licensed Spiritual Health Coach and Certified Angel Card Reader in Calgary, Alberta, Canada. Phyllis is a gifted intuitive. She provides thoughtful guidance to help with personal problems, life transitions and situations that may be causing you pain or holding you back in your life. With a lifelong awareness of her intuitive gifts, Phyllis learned early on how to nurture these abilities to benefit others. Phyllis' personal struggle with depression and suicidal thoughts started when she was a young child. She was brought to the brink of suicide several times. Her story inspires and gives hope for anyone battling depression. CONTINUE READING...... |
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February 2018
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